The Ex Files: Why Can’t You Seem To Get Over Him

All right ladies, it’s time for real talk. I don’t usually talk about problems of the heart, but it has become my job lately. I should say that cheering up girlfriends who are crying over their exes isn’t a very pleasant job, and since I’ve been down the block maybe once, or twice, let me tell you the truth behind why you can’t just get over him.

The moment you said goodbye to him, there’s a part of you, even subconciously, that believes he would rebut – he would suggest you fix things or maybe start over. Unfortunately for you, he just shrugged and told you that, yeah, you’re better off apart, because things are not really going anywhere. It’s maybe a different story if he’s the one who said it’s over. You didn’t believe it at first because, you just can’t. And with these two scenarios, you would sulk in the corner and cry, thinking how in the world could he have let you go when in fact, he would no longer be able to find someone as awesome as you.

If only band-aids could...

Sadly, there’s no quick fix when it comes to broken heart. You want to erase all the memories you have shared in just a snap, but you can’t. Hell, that’s how many years’ worth of memories? You’re friends with all his relatives and vice-versa, you shared hundreds of Sunday lunches together, you smiled for thousands of pictures, recording the bliss you felt because of the simple fact that you’re with him. And now that he’s gone, you’d go to Facebook just to find out that he just changed his profile picture (gone was that silhoutte pic while he was kissing you in the sunset), worse, he’s already seeing someone new (maybe that’s why he’s no longer interested in fixing things with you). In your rage, you’d click that magical UNFRIEND button. You’d delete all the traces of him in your own profile and unfriend your common friends, everything that would remind you of him. Then you’d tell your friends everything’s fine even though you’re still bleeding inside.

They say the best revenge for this is happiness and total make over. So you’d invite your girlfriends to visit the salon for mani-pedi and new hair color. Then you’d go shopping for new clothes because most of your dresses have witnessed important events of your life with him like your anniversaries, your birthdays, his birthdays and even his parents’ birthdays. You imagine seeing him again, while sporting a new dress, shiny hair and trimmed nails. But before you even reached that make over date with your friends, you bump into him wearing that shirt he bought for you years ago. Yeah, life sucks like that sometimes.

Then just when you thought you have finally moved on, here comes an old friend telling you news about him. You’ll hear how happy he is, seemingly satisfied with the life he leads without you in it. You’d curse yourself, and ask why in the hell you’ve unfriended him in the first place. You’d try to snoop through his profile for any information viewable by public. Then, you’d debate with yourself if you’d add him as a friend again, or let him be and forget all about him. But you’re too stubborn, so you click that Add Friend button again, praying to God, together with all the angels and the saints that he accepts you request.

See? All of your actions are actually all about him, so how in the world could you get over? Meanwhile, he’s out there, enjoying his life, when you think he should be miserable because you’re gone. Reality check: you’re no longer a part of his life so better get on with yours. But there’s this little voice inside you, saying, duh! You’re still into him that’s why you can’t get over. But the question is, is it really worth it? Whatever reason you had for your fall out, the fact that it’s over broke you to a million pieces. Maybe you just don’t know where to start in picking up those pieces.

Hang on, girl. You know there’d come a day when the right one in the right time comes along.


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