The day I found out I’m sick, I didn’t how would I react.
Obviously, I was full of questions. I would no longer deny that I asked God a lot of why’s. Why me? Why a crippling disease? It led me to decisions I wouldn’t have done otherwise. I left my job and let my career be written down in the water. I became unreliable. I was a wreck.
But most of all, I was afraid. I feared that I might not survive the test. I was worried about where would I get financial support for my meds since I no longer have the means. I was scared that my friends, who have been there for me when I was all good and capable would leave and I’d be thrown into oblivion. I was scared that I would be left alone.
Then slowly, I began to understand. I realized along the way there’s nothing to fear, because I was never alone. I found an online writing job that somehow pays for my medical needs. I became overwhelmed with gratitude when a lot of people came to see me when I was fighting for my life, and their presence made me put up a good fight. And until now, they continue to show and make me feel that I am cared for and loved.
There was nothing to fear really, for all along, God was with me. All I have to do is keep my faith.