Today I went to the hospital for my clearance check-up. I have mentioned in some of my previous posts that I’ll be undergoing thymectomy, and I am glad that everything is all set. I also talked to my neurologist and he really seemed to be looking forward to it as well. I’ve met myasthenics in the past few months who have undergone this kind of surgery, and the way their lives seemed to be back to normal gave me higher hopes for remission and recovery.
However, as I talked to my surgeon earlier, he gave me certain expectations to set. He said that according to some statistical data, only 40% out of 1000 patients experience relief from myasthenia gravis after surgery. Meanwhile, only 24% were reported to have reduced their medication.
And so he told me, “This is what to expect. I don’t want you to believe that you’ll be completely healed after the surgery.”
Honestly, doubt clouded me, but just for a few seconds. And like always, my brain travelled in quantum speed, from the surgeon’s slightly disapppinting revelation, to the possibility of broken dreams and false hope to healing. I was told by my previous neurologist that I could gain 85% of my normal life back after thymectomy. Was it really misinformation, or she was just selling the surgery to me? But after a moment, I was able to compose myself and think straight. Here’s what I said to the surgeon.
“Still, 40% is 40%. It’s still better than none at all.”
And he actually agreed with me. He said the rate is actually big. It’s just that he doesn’t want me to expect much from it. And I agreed him on that.
So, now, after finding out the odds of my recovery, one may ask, would I still want to undergo surgery? The answer is, of course. Like I said, it’s better that none at all. And even if the odds don’t seem to be on my favor both statistically and medically, there’s one that’s in my favor.
My faith in God.