I live my life the way
To keep you coming back to me
Everything I do is for you
So what is it that you can’t see?
I first heard of this song when I was eleven, in a music video featuring the men that I never thought would conquer my dreams and capture my heart for as long as I could remember. I’d never deny that I am so deeply awed with A.J., Brian, Kevin, Howie and of course, Nick. The Backstreet Boys and their music have impacted my life like no one could ever understand, maybe except for a fan. As I have been missing in action in the blogosphere dealing with myasthenia gravis, between my prayer time and doctor’s appointments, it’s their songs that’s been playing in my ears.
I had a very colorful teenage life. If the teenagers (or maybe some older people) today have One Direction and Korean popstars, and the generation before mine had New Kids on the Block, mine had the Backstreet Boys. I remember trading posters and magazines with my classmates who were also boyband fanatics, and two of my closest girlfriends right now, actually became my friends because of these adorable boys.
I survived algebra. Let’s face it, not all students love algebra, and that includes me. But when I read from some fan magazine that Nick Carter’s best school subject was algebra, I became fond of it. Not that I fell in love with it or anything, but enough for me to be able to acquire more than just a passing grade. And I still made it even after I’ve rechecked my sources and learned that Nick’s best subject was in fact, history.
I was epileptic, but then, so what? In the year 2000, I was diagnosed with epilepsy. Yes, I am such a sickly girl. That’s all it should took for me to give up and brood over the things I would never be able to do in my youth. But I just didn’t. Aside from being a member of a church community group (Neo Catechumenal Way), listening to Shape of my Heart (just to name one song) and singing it from the top of my lungs not only helped me get through that terrible teenage ordeal, but provided me with a lot of positive energy.
I excelled in English. Aside from being taught and raised by my grandfather who was a part of the U.S. army in the WW2, how could I possibly ignore the way MTV vjs talk? It was my childish dream to be an MTV vj, and be given the opportunity to interview the guys and know them upclose and personal. MTV Most Wanted, MTV Diary and MTV Ask are my favorite MTV programs, by the way!
Just one song and my pissed off heart calms down. This isn’t an overstatement. When I got to work in the customer service industry, a lot of times, everyone is upset and pissed. We get that a lot. But instead of smoking or getting drunk or taking my frustrations out to another customer, I would just listen to As Long As You Love Me or Inconsolable and everything will be fine again.
Their music is just so… therapeutic. I am in another condition, and I just can’t say if it’s far worse that epilepsy or what. As I was doing my daily devotion one morning, a neighbor suddenly played a Backstreet Boys song. I’ve been guilty of letting all my CDs collect dust in the rack, and so I played them again. Listening to such a feel good music washed away all the remaining anxiety in my heart and I was once again inspired. I mean, it is all more than good enough to be comforted by God through prayers, buy there’s always something to be said with a tangible answer to your prayer.
I wrote this in the hopes that somehow, others who are undergoing a dark situation in their lives could find something that would definitely shed some light to them. It could be music, yoga, sports, movies, books or what. It may not be the solution to what you’re going through, but it helps. I guess, what I am to say is, it’s always good to have your own sort of therapy.