False Alarm

Am ready for this?
Am ready for this?

It has been a long day today for me. I was at the hospital to meet my neurologist for check-up and he finally referred me to surgery so I could start the preparations needed for undergoing thymectomy. I posted a picture on my Instagram account, and I was astounded by the response of most of my friends, for they thought I was undergoing the surgery right now, as in today.

Am I ready for this? My doctors have been convincing me for months now to undergo surgery. According to them, since I am still young, there is a huge possibility that thymectomy may not only lessen my MG crisis, but it could be cured. I was scared at first, as they tell me that this is a major operation, in addition to all the researches I did about what happened to people who have undergone the same procedure. Some of them were able to lead a normal life after, but some were, well, I don’t really want to go to that. But as I was praying and asking God what He wants me to do, I had a fateful meeting with the chief consultant of the neurosciences department in one of the biggest hospitals in the Philippines. As she was able to explain to me very well the pros and cons of undergoing surgery, not only she had me convinced,  but I was subconsciously counting the days till I get my schedule of operation.

Was I ever scared? Of course. It took me this long to be determined to have myself cut and remove that thing that limits me to enjoy the limitless possibilities of life. And honestly, as I went to that room where the front door says SURGERY, I felt a pang of terror. Horrible thoughts came flooding through my head about hospital beds, scissors, knifes and blood, but I know it’s not gonna get me anywhere. I mean, if I really want miracles to happen, then I have to take a leap of faith and let them happen to me. I am counting on to this as my own personal miracle. To be cured and be a witness of God’s everlasting love to us humans.

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