Several weeks ago, I received a trivia text message from my phone service provider. It said that it is possible for a person to die of heartbreak, and it’s called stress cardiomyopathy. I frowned at the thought. But then I decided to Google it, and yes, there is such a thing as death of broken heart. I didn’t find out more about it, although it was interesting enough.
I’ve read two books last week, The Catastrophic History of You and Me and Lies My Girlfriend Told Me (I’ve yet to post the review so stay tuned). Funny how both books talked something about stages. One talked about stages of being dead, and the other one talked about stages of grief. But even if they are both totally opposite circumstances, the stages are all the same – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Denial. The one you love leaves, says goodbye. The most important person in your life suddenly dies without warning, or just simply – gone. Of course, no one would be able to accept it right away. Thing is, you would still believe it was just a nightmare. A bad dream that ever so often happens. For a few days you would still look at your phone frequently, just to check if she or he leaves a message. You’d go home, and one you go to bed alone, you’d just pretend that you’re waiting, because the other one is just working late, and will join you soon. Right? Denial.
Anger. You would suddenly realize that maybe you’ve been cheated. Where was the promise of always being there? Did he really mean it when he said he loved you and will always care? Why did he have to leave in the first place? Why did he or she have to die? There are so many questions that will pop up your head that would trigger your anger. You’ve been lied to, and pained by someone with whom you counted on with your life. Of course, you’d be angry.
Bargaining. Now your anger has dissipated quite a bit, and you feel resigned. But then, you would think of another chance on how to make it right. You’d pray every night endlessly, making crucial deals with God, just to be given this one final chance to get things well. You bargain.
Depression. Okay, so now you’re feeling like, whatever it takes, nothing can bring back the one who left. The Lord, most probably, has a bigger and better plan for you, but you won’t see it just yet. You still wanted the old life back, with the person with whom you were angry with the last time, because no matter what kind of pain you’re being inflicted of, you still love the person.
Acceptance. You finally realize that there’s more to life than bitterness and despair. That no matter how wonderful things used to be, there would always be a more beautiful path that awaits you. You begin to accept that the things have happened was really meant to be, and it somehow made you stronger.
Have you ever experienced these stages? My life’s coincidences are such a marvel that I can’t just let it pass me by. At least, by knowing these stages, I would understand myself better, in any case. But then, do most of us really have to go through these?