It’s not that I don’t care. It’s just that I have faith.
Funny how I could easily forget my condition, the sole culprit of my being such a bummer these days. Okay, I used to be a productive young woman, with a hope or two about changing the world by starting the change in myself. I am no hero, and I never will be, I just wanted to be a better person. Then, this monster came and invaded my life, not more than two years ago, and ripped me off almist everything I had that was so good.
I was diagnosed of myasthenia gravis, a medical condition that screws my immune system big time. On worst days, I couldn’t breathe, the muscles on my lungs would suddenly find it hard to work, so I have to be rushed to the hospital and be intubated. I worried at first, I thought I was going to die, but God maybe decided it wasn’t the time for me to come home to him yet. That made me and my faith stronger. I kniw I wasn’t a bad person, but not too good to be a saint, yet I had this chance to live my life the second time around.
So what brought me upon thinking all of these again? I was thinking I could’ve died, too young, not given the chance to discover the world. I was always a good ol’ indoor girl, who likes adventures alright, but just to a certain level. I’m not really saying I’m up to bunjee jumping or skydiving now, but certain changes would be very much welcome.
Now, I have to make this a goal. I made a list of all the things I want to do, and who knows if I could do all of them or not. At least, I could say that I tried. I have to take care of myself though, to keep healthy and be able to do these things. They aren’t much, maybe not the most exciting things for most people, but I decided to take small steps at a time.
1. Eat at an authentic foreign restaurant. I tried some Chinese, Italian is my favorite, and my Japanese experience is only limited to sashimi and makis (I’m not even sure makis are Japanese), and I think maybe trying out Greek, French, Korean or maybe Indian is awesome. I may not be able to come step on the soil on which these foods are originally cooked, but an experience is still worthe remembering.
2. Visit places I’ve never been to. Since the doctors have prohobited me from flying, I have to limit these travels on places I could reach by land or by water. Philippines has so much fascinating places to offer, spots that even most Filipinos haven’t been into. It should be fun enough.
3. See an actual opera. I’ve seen plays and theater when I was in school alright, but I would love to see an actual soprano performance. It’s funny, but they are not that famous in this country where I live, that’s why I never had the chance.
4. Have a picnic. It doesn’t really matter if I’m to do it with my friends, family ory boyfriend, but it has to be a real picnic – under the tree, a blanket spread on the soft grass, basket of food while the afternoon sun boasts its grandeur. A lot of pictures by the sunset. I remember our family used to do this when I was I kid, but I’d like the grown-up me experience it.
5. Walk on a grassy field, barefeet in a sundress. I don’t know why this made my list, maybe because I was actually looking at this sundress I just stashed in my closet, and wonder where I can wear it.
6. Wear bikini at the beach. I am not that blessed in the hot-bod department. A slight little flaw here and there, bulks in one place or another didn’t help my confidence in that particulat area. I guess, I’m fit right now, just enough to show some skin, by the beach.
7. Fly a kite. Maybe I can do this shile doing the picnic. It always sounded fun, although, as a homegirl, it always occured to me that kite-flying is a boy thing. I watch boy movies and I love them, so I suppose it’s just the same in kite flying.
8. Attend a town festival. Since the Philippines is so rich in cultural heritage, I might as well make it a point to value them (well, I’m a Filipina so what can I do?) Higantes Festival in Angono sounds fascinating. Festival of Lights in Sagada, or maybe Kadayawan in Davao, and treat myself of durian, the fruit in which the city’s famous for.
That’s all I have on my list at the moment. A lot of things come to my mind, though. I ought to have this list fulfilled first.
“Fulfill your projects while you are able, for among the dead where you are going there is no work, no planning, no knowledge, no wisdom.” Ecclesiastes 9:10